voldie i swiched the kids
by Arwen.cameron.merry.vicki
Summary: harry potter cho chang and draco malfoy have switched bodies with three muggle girls who are causeing chaos in the wizzarding world
1. Chapter 1

FireHorse Here! Hoofin' It Here! We are co-writing AGAIN with each other, this time its on HI's account.

HI: Craziness ensues when my crazy friends and I get switched with Harry Potter , Cho Chang and Draco Malfoy's bodies! Dun dun DUN!

FH :YEP!

Disclaimer : Will Turner: Disclaimer?

Jack Sparrow: Yes, Will! A disclaimer!

Sauron: Yes! ONE DISCLAIMER TO RULE THEM ALL!

Will: Um, we don't own? Hehehe.

Jack : NO! Say it like a man! FIREHORSE AND HOOFIN'IT DO NOT OWN US, LOTR, OR HARRY POTTER! ARGH!

Will :eep! Jack ur scaring me! Oh ya we also don't own anything u regonize!

Jake : SAY IT WITH FEELING!

The Dark Lord Sauron decided that he would make the One Potion to Take Over Them All! Unfortunately, Voldemort ripped it off and gave Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, and Cho Chang the OptTOTA! He was supposed to give it to Ron and Hermione but he screwed up. Big surprise their. Coughyarightcough.

The Next Day...

Harry Potter woke up, TO BE SURROUNDED BY PLASTIC HORSES! AND PICTURES OF HORSES! AND BOOKS ABOUT HORSES! BASICALLY EVERYTHING WAS ABOUT HORSES! Harry screamed, fell off the bed, and got a giant bump on his head. He groaned, flipped over, and stared at his now RED HAIR! Confused, he looked in his mirror, AND SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER! Some strange woman screamed from another room

"Caitlin, Shut Up!"

Harry was double confused. Caitlin? Who? What? Where? Did he mention Who? Yes, yes he had. He cautiously looked around his Horsefied room. Seriously, there were horses everywhere!

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Draco Malfoy groaned. A few seconds later he realized something. His satin sheets felt werid. So did his satin pillow. he opened his eyes to see his room. Which was blue. Huh. Wait, what? His head shot up , only to see a girl with black hair that was pointed in ever direction. " WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!" he yelled at the girl, only to have her mouth move at the same time as his.

He stopped waiting for an answer. " WELL?" Again, the girl didn't answer. He got out of his ...orange bed and walked over to her. " I'm waiting." he said , tapping his foot. When he got no answer, AGAIN, he lost all control and punched the girl. Only to scream and suck on his now red hand. " WHAT THE-" he was cut off as the mirror he was staring into shattered. A voice from afar promptly yelled : " Francesca! It's 6 in the mourning! On a Saturday! My calculations say that you should be asleep for another 7 hours! Go back to bed!" Now Draco being Draco yelled right back. " DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR TALKING TO?" " GO BACK TO BED!" Draco's face was one of shock, for no one other than his father had yelled at him, ever.

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"Sissy! Sissy get up! Sissy, sissy , sissy!" Cho Chang groaned as something bounced on her stomach. She growled, and opened her eyes to meet brown ones. " Good! Sissy up!" "Huh?" A large man opened the door to her room , which was a lot smaller than she remembered it being, and said : " get up lazy." Cho blinked having no idea who the heck this guy was and hy their was a two year old on her stomach screaming : " Sissy up!"

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Hogwarts Time!

FireHorse opened her eyes. She rose, yawned, stretched, and stopped. She felt... odd. She felt... MANLY! Maybe that was because she WAS a guy. Yeah, maybe. Wait, WHAT? She looked into the mirror. Was that a zit! Oh, no, it was just a slightly too coincidental scar in the shape of a lightning bolt. Hmmm, who did she know who had a coincidental scar on HIS head? Drew Carey? No. Ummmm, Captain Underpants? No, getting closer though. Oh! Parry Hotter! Oh, um, oops: Harry Potter! YES! She, excuse me, HE stopped. How could this happen! Who cares, she thought, THIS IS SOOO TOTALLY AWESOME!

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Hoofin' It groaned. She had had the dream about the ducks, AGAIN. Was it something she had eaten to make these ninja ducks taunt her mercilessly with taffy? Stupid ducks, who likes them anyway. She opened her eyes. The usual picture of Orlando Bloom did NOT greet her, but a picture of a some man with a broomstick in one hand! She panicked. WHERE WAS ORLI? Standing up, she realized she was shorter (GASP! HOLY CRAP, NOOOOOO! Seriously, I'm really tall!). she also had... blonde hair? SWEET! She ran to a mirror and looked in. Draco Malfoy? What was he doing in her room? She squealed and tried to hug him but bounced off the mirror and fell onto the floor. Well, that was rude. How dare he push her? Wait... she had blonde hair. Draco in the mirror, scratch that, HER looking in the mirror and she had blonde hair. Hoofin' It was naturally slow in the morning so it took a while for it all to sink in... but when it did (which was at least a good 30 minutes) she shouted happily and woke the rest of the family up.

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FH : now we have no idea of what Cho's house looks like, or her room, or her family sooo we'll just skip her

somewhere far off a girl stopped what she was doing. " their ignoring me! I can tell! AHHHHH!

At the burrow...

FireHorse ran down the stairs to the kitchen where Ron , Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, and Mir. And Mrs. Weasley where eating. Now FireHorse was not the most graceful person in the world and did what she normally did when running down the stairs. " hey peop- THUNK! CRASH, BANG! yes thats right, she fell down the stairs, got up, crashed into Ron's chair , and fell dead on into the pancakes.. Then she did what she always did when greeting her friends. " WHATZUP!" now these people being British no offense if u are had no idea what 'what's up' meant. This started a choras of "huh?" 'Round the table. "Harry" sat down next to Ron, automatically assumed that since she was Harry, Ron was Hoofin' It.. " psst HI! I'm Harry!" Ron could only stare at what he thought was his best friend gone off the deep end. " H-Harry, are you okay?" " HI this is not the time to be funny! It's me FireHorse!" Ron slowly moved his chair away as his best friend continued to ramble on about a 'horse on fire'.

MEANWHILE

Hoofin' It skipped down the stairs, kissed Lucious Malfoy on the cheek, hugged Narcissa Malfoy, grabbed some toast, and ran into the living room. She stopped dead. There was no T.V.! What was the world coming to? So thinking fast, or in her case very slow, she went back into the kitchen and sat down. Lucious, still in shock being kissed on the cheek by his normally groggy son, stared rather fearfully at his only child. He was even more frightened when Draco smiled back. Narcissa cleared her throat noisily, an international symbol which was supposed to break the tension in the room but never did. She stared at Lucious raising her eyebrows and nodded her head towards Draco.

"Um, Draco, honey. Are you feeling... alright?"

Draco stared at his 'mother' and smiled.

"Why yes, scary lady. I've never felt better! I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and was all HOLY CRAP, I'M DRACO MALFOY! Then I was all like, WHOA, I'M DRACO MALFOY! HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN? And then I was like HOLY CRAP, I'M DRACO MALFOY! Then I was like WOW, I'M DRACO MALFOY! Then I skipped down the stairs, kissed the smelly, scary man on the cheek, hugged you, ran into the living room, was all like HOLY CRAP! WHERE'S THE T.V., screamed, thought very slowly, ran back into the kitchen, smiled at Smelly Scary man because he was staring at me, you cleared your throat, asked me if I was feeling alright, to which I responded 'Why yes, scary lady. I've never felt better! I I woke up this morning-

Lucious interrupted for fear that this would go on all morning.

"Uh, Draco. Don't you have some... um work to do?" Please say yes, he thought hopefully.

Draco thought, again very slowly.

"Now, that you mention it, I probably should call FH!"

He skipped out of the room, leaving his parents fearing for their son's mental health.

Draco ran up two flights of stairs, not really knowing where he was going, and somehow stumbled into "his" room. HI looked around, to find that the brand new cell phone she had just got had been magically transported with her. "YAY!" she screamed , startling a few crows that where outside. FH : yes she's THAT loud. HI : HEY! FH: kidding, kidding HI grabbed it, jumped onto her bed, flipped it open and dialed FireHorse's number.

AT THE BURROW...

Everyone watched in amazement as Harry consumed his fourth serving of breakfast.

" I know they didn't feed you dear, but do you really need to eat all that?" Mrs. Weasley asked as FH went for her 5th stack of pancakes. " Duh." FH stated through a mouthful of apples. All of a sudden the tune to "American Idiot" FH: which we don't own came blasting through the silence startling everyone. " Sorry, mine!" FH said as she jumped and pulled out a silver cell phone. All non muggle people mainly everyone but Hermione looked at the strange device strangely. Harry flipped open the cell and walked out the door yelling "yo!". Mr. Weasley was the first brave soul to break the silence by asking " what was that thing? My it was like thin iron!" Hermione shook her head, before answering. " it wasn't iron, it was metal. That was a muggle device called a cell phone. It's like a regular phone , but you can walk around with it. How did Harry get one?" Mr. Weasley ignored the question, too amazed at the thought of a cordless small phone. Hermione sighed as everyone went back to eating and ignoring Mr. Weasley's rambling.

"Guess what?" FH yelled into the phone.

"I'm Draco Malfoy!" HI screamed back.

" I'm Harry Potter!"

"Cool!"

"Cool!"

"Cool!"

"Cool!"

"Cool!"

"Cool!"

"Cool!"

"Co-wait, what?"

"Huh?

"Eh!"

"Wha?"

"What where we talking about again?"

"I don't know."

"So, if your Draco , and I'm Harry..." FireHorse stated, suddenly realizing what that meant..

Hoofin' It immediantley picked up on the thought.

" Vikky's in Voldermorts body!"

FireHorse : boy how wrong we are.

Hoofin'It :...

FH : hi!

HI : ...hahahaha...

FH : Quit reading Legolas's Diary V1!

HI : Well, pardon me for enjoying my own writing!

FH : HEY! I wrote some of it to!

HI: ... Oh, yeah. (Goes back to reading) ... heheheheheh.

FH : sigh okay ppl! Hope you thought it was funny and random! Until next time! FireHorse Signing out!

HI : ...still reading...hahahahahaha- HEY! WERE'S THE LAST PAGE!

FH : bye ppl! R&R


	2. Chapter 2

HEY PEOPLE!

FireHorse : i know it's only been, like 30 minutes, but Hoofin'It HAD to see her story, then we went off and made super shakes! Yummm.

Will Turner: Aren't shakes bad for your complexion?

Jack Sparrow: SHUT UP! NO ONE CARES!

Will: WHAAAAAAA!

Legolas: Look, U made Will cry!

Aragorn: SHUT UP!

Legolas: WHAAAAA!

Will: U made Legolas cry!

Jack: SHUT UP!

Will: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Legolas: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Aragorn: Why are U crying! I haven' told U to shut up yet!

Legolas: I'm anticipating.

Jack: What does that mean?

HI: It means thinking ahead, Jack. Something U don't do very often..

Jack: ... BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE?

FH: Someone has past issues...

HI : (sigh)

FH : NIGHTMARE! DO THE DISCLAIMER!

Night : huh? What?

HI : Disclaimer muse boy!

Night : oh. HI & FH don't own Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Carribean, me ( FH : HEY! Yes we do! Ur MY muse without me u wouldn't be here!)

Anything we don't have our name on, obviously isn't ours.

Night: HA! Your name isn't on me! Oh, BURN!

(FH gets out stamp with name written on it, and stamps it on night's forehead)

Night, narrows eyes: Oh, it's on now!

yeah, it's late and our disclaimer took up 2 pages. We apologise for this monstrosity. YEAH RIGHT!

ON WITH ACTUAL FIC.

Will: But Legolas and I haven't sang "I Feel Pretty" yet!

HI+FH+Jack+Aragorn: WILL U SHUT UP!

Legolas+Will:WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

ON WITH ACTUAL ACTUAL FIC!

Our three heroes have arrived at the Hogwarts train. Fortunately for there confused parents the school year started the next day from where we left off.

FireHorse coughcough Harry skipped happily inbetween a confused Ron and a unhappy Hermione. Upon arriving at the brick wall that they have to go through, FH stared at it amazed. Another 10 minutes later, she was still their. Hermione stopped before the Platform 9 3/4, aka a brick wall, and waited for Harry. When he didn't come 20 minutes later she decided she should go check on him. She re un entered the wall only to find Harry and Draco staring at the entrance to Platform 9 3/4, aka a brick wall.

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"Are we there yet?"

"No, Draco."

"Oh. ... How 'bout now?"

"No, Draco."

"Oh... Now?"

"Draco, why don't you amuse yourself."

"... Okay, I dedicate this song to Daddy!"

"Narcissa, I blame you for whatever spews from this child's mouth."

"I love you! You love me! We're a happy family! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you! Won't you say you- Take it, Daddy!"

"Draco-"

"Come on, Daddy! Do you want me to start crying!"

"Draco, I-"

"THIS MAN ISN'T NICE ENOUGH TO MAKE HIS ONLY SON HAPPY! DO YOU WANT THIS CHILD TO BE DEPRIVED OF LOVE, AFFECTION, ummm KINDNESS-"

"(sigh) Love me, too."

"I love you, Daddy."

"Narcissa, I also blame you for birthing this child."

"Hey, you jumped me!"

"AHHHH! MY VIRGIN EARS!"

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Now all people who know Vikky know that she doesn't like long car rides. And those who know her know to NEVER piss her off. Vikky aka Cho sat in the car humming. Ten minutes after humming "hollaback girl", "Just the girl" and "she's a rebel" Vikky was getting mad. Of course it had taken Vikky all of yesterday and this mourning to figure out she was Cho Chang. As she ended "she's a rebel" she began pestering the poor soul who was Cho's dad. " are we their yet.!" "No dear." Cho's farther replied, unawair that he had just realised world war 3. " Why are not their!" Vikky demanded causing her farther to look at her and run a red. " hunny, that didn't make sense." "SO?"

C.F. ( as we now called Cho's dad) sighed and just figured that it was the 'monthly curse'. Cho had now found a stick and was threatening her poor 'farther' with it. When they arrived at the train station, C.F all but threw her out the car, screamed "LOVE U BY!" and drove off. +

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" HOLY SHIT! I'M A GIRL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry breathed heavily, then ran down the stairs. He ran around the house multiple times before relizing a second horror. He had no idea where he was! A small kid was watching him and started laughing. Harry ran over to the kid and all but screamed : " WHERE AM I!" the kid laughed harder as Harry's horrified face went more... horrific. " WHERE'S MY BRITISH ACCENT!" "Of course you don't have Bwitish accent!"

"British."

"That's what I said Bwitish."

"Are you doing this to annoy me?"

"Nooo, you think?"

"Don't use sarcasm with me, boy! Do I know you, anyway?"

"No, just the fact that we have the same resemblance and live in the same house with a picture on the fridge of you and me at the beach. No, I've never seen you in my life."

"... Oh, okay. Well, if you do ever find out where I am please don't hesitate to tell me."

"Tch. Teenagers. Don't understand sarcasm."

"Hey, I take offense to that!"

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With The Real Draco

"HOLY CRAP! WHAT'S WITH MY HAIR?"

"FRANCESCA! GO TO SLEEP! IT'S A SATURDAY AND IT'S 10 IN THE MORNING! WHY ARE YOU STILL UP?"

"DON'T USE THAT VOICE WITH ME, WOMAN!"

HI: Now this is my mother we're talking about here, and if you ever spoke like that to her, consider yourself virtually dead. Poor Draco...

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?

"YOU HEARD ME!"

Oh, dear...

5 minutes later..

"I'm ready to come out of the garage now! I've learned my lesson!"

10 minutes later...

"It's cold down here!"

20 minutes later...

"I'm sorry, mommy!"

Okay, you get it...

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Back on the Train...

With FireHorse...

"So... bored."

"We could always go bother Malfoy."

"Who is Malfoy?"

All activity in the booth... cart... thing (whatever) ceases. Hermione looks at Harry.

"Harry, DRACO MALFOY, you know. Your enemy. The person who hates you and, you in turn, hate him just as much?"

Blank Stare...

"You know, the person who insulted me, insulted you, insulted Ron, and insulted me again?"

Blank Stare...

"The person who got attacked, and I use the term loosely, by BuckBeak?"

Blank Stare... "Well, I know who BuckBeak is."

"Okay, we're making progress."

"You know, the kid I punched in the nose?"

"A little familiar..."

"AKA the kid who got turned into a ferret, thrown up and down in the air, got shoved in Goyle's pants, thrown on the ground, AFTER he fell out of a tree?"

"OH! Him!"

"Yes."

"Thank God."

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 AFTER FINALLY ARRIVING AT HOGWARTS AND BEING THE NEXT DAY

It was the next day after arriving at Hogwarts. And FH was trying to find HI. Now she thought it might be hard because Hogwarts was full of , well, students. But then again this is HI we're talking about. Famous for her repetitive ways, she was skipping down the hall screaming, " I'M DRACO I'M DRACO , I'M DRACO, I'M DRACO , I'M DRACO , I'M DRACO!" People cleared a path for the teen for he was also well known for him being, uh, an ass. ( Fh : NIGHTMARE DON'T INSULT DRACO! Night: OW! U didn't have to hit me! HI : I thought it was neccicary) FireHorse ran down the stairs. " Hey!" she yelled but the roar of the crowd proved to be to much for her. She took a deep breath and screamed : " HOOFIN"IT! OVER HERE!" all activity in hall stopped. Then started again like nothing happened. Draco stopped and again thought very slowly as Harry fought her way over to Draco. She stopped as she managed to reach the large cleared space where HI was still pondering who knew her name. " FireHorse!" she cried happily. "Hey Hoofin'It, whatzup!" the two ran over to each other and began walking side by side whilst talking. " I'm DRACO!" HI screamed happily " I'm Harry!" FH screamed back just as happily. All students were oblvious to the fact that the schools biggest enemy 's where walking side by side and giggling whilst yelling random things. Until some bright person promptly screamed " HOLY CRAP DRACO MALFOY AND HARRY POTTER ARE WALKING TOGETHER AND GIGGLING WHILE YELLING RANDOM THINGS! Ya real bright. That got everyone's attention. They all stared and whispered but our two switched bodies muggal girls didn't notice. They where to busy screaming things like "CHEESECAKE!" at random moments. Both stopped though when they noticed that their trio was not compete. " Where's Vikky?" HI said slowly. FH and HI eyes went wide as they shared a look. The same thought crossed their mind and they weren't afraid to scream it out loud. Which is what they did. " OH CRAP!"

FH : so comes the end of chappie 2. AND hey it's 2 in the morning! YAY!

HI : I'm not tired. Will, are YOU tired?

Will: I'm not tired. Legolas, are YOU tired?

Legolas: I'm not tired. Aragorn, are YOU TIRED?

Aragorn: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Legolas: Uh, Jack are YOU tired?

Jack: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Legolas: (sniff) HI, everyone is ignoring me!

Will: Poor Legolas. Come get a hug.

Night: Oh, God. Now we have to hug?

Legolas: SHUT UP! I'M BEING CONSOLED!

HI: Awww, isn't that sweet. KODAK MOMENT!

FH: Oh my God. Someone told Night to SHUT UP! THE WORLD IS ENDING!

HI attempts to turn the T.V. to MTV.

Jack: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ- HEY! I was watching that!

Aragorn wakes up, too.

Aragorn: Hey! The Lakers were winning!

FH: The Lakers aren't even a football team!

Aragorn: They aren't? Then what was I watching?

FH: Uh, Basketball, perhaps?

Aragorn: Oh, so that's why they running instead of tackling each other...

Night: STUPID! HOW DO I GET STUCK WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU!

Jack: Should we be offended by this?

FH: No, it's just grumpy Night Nighty before bed.

Night: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!

Will: I think it's cute!

Night: You would, wouldn't you, Girly Man!

Will: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

HI: NIGHT! DON'T HURT WILL'S FEELINGS! And for that matter DON'T HURT LEGOLAS' EITHER!

Night: Let me guess, Anticipating?

FH: Yes, the word of the day is ANTICIPATING!

Legolas: Today's word was brought to you by the letter A!

Night: SHUT UP!

Legolas: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

FH: (sigh) Our work is never done.

HI: R&R, ppl. R&R.-


	3. Chapter 3

WELCOME! To chappi 3 of Voldemort , I switched the kid's!

HI: about time.

FH: shut up.

HI: we live a block away from each other and instead of going to each other's houses and updating, we email each other.

FH: and your telling them this because…?

Will: Does this mean there won't be any cake?

Jack: SHUT UP! GOD, CAN YOU BE QUIET FOR ONE FRICKIN', SODDING MOMENT! I mean everything you say is either entirely off topic or NO ONE CARES! GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN AND STOP BUGGING EVERYONE!

FH: Jack that was a terrible idea…

Jack: What do you talk! It's called 'Bulking Up' the Jack Sparrow Way.

HI: Well, there is the consistent wailing which follows shortly after a raised insult taken too far…

Jack: …. Oh, yeah… that… Oops? Hehehehe…

Will + Legolas: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Aragorn: Why are you crying, Legolas!

Legolas: … (sniff) Because seeing Will cry makes… ME SOOO SAD! AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Will: And seeing Legolas so upset makes ME … VERY SAD, TOO!

Jack: Basically either way… we're screwed.

FH: Yep.

HI: Most likely.

Aragorn: Pie.

HI: What?

Aragorn: Oh, just testing to see if you were listening.

HI: Riiiiiiiight…Anywhoooo… we apologize for not updating so soon-

Will: that's not what you said the other day-

FH: Will be quiet!

Legolas: Yeah! You said, 'I'm sooo glad we don't have to update Voldemort, I Switched the Kids!

FH: Hehehehe. So cute when they twist your words… (death glare)

Legolas + Will: EEP!

HI: Yeah, Be quiet!

Jake : they don't even realize they haven't done the disclaimer.

Night : Idiots. I'm surrounded by Idiots.

Jake: so true.

HI&FH: Guys?

Jake&Night: yes?

HI&FH: Die.

Jake&Night: EEP! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

Jake&Night (while being chased by a very pissed HI&FH) WE DON"T OWN!

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Cho was confused. The "door", aka a brick wall, was NOT cooperating! She had repeatedly run into it several times but had just ended up hurting herself more and more. As said before: she was confused. Fellow Raven Claw students where also confused watching one of their top-students run into the wall right next to the painting that lead into the Raven Claw dormitories. Common room. The house place OK! Vikky growled, showing that she was close to entering a temper tantrum. Which normally (even in the smuggle world) ended with things in little pieces. This is where Firehouse (Harry) and Houdini's (Drano) found her. Vicky aka Chow was punching anyone and anything that was in her way. This ended with a lot of students and paintings getting torn, punched , and ripped into little shreds. "Vikky!" FH yelled, running over to what she hoped was their phsyco friend. "WHAT?" yelled Cho in response, not really caring that Harry Potter knew that Cho was not Cho in the way that there was a different mind in Cho's body.

(A/n FH : hope that cleared some confusion. HI : UR NOT SUPPOSED TO CLEAR CONFUSION! FH : hehehe, whoops. ) "Are you… well, Victoria?" HI asked, being her slow self. " YES!" Vikky screeched whilst hitting the wall. "Great. Some idiot gave her sugar." Groaned FH. " Hey, aren't we 'sposed to be physcotic too?" FH stopped , she needed a moment to think. "Oh, ya."

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"Caitlin, we're going out so watch Sean and Jazz."

"……."

"Caitlin!"

"……."

"Caitlin! I don't understand WHAT is SOOO fascinating with the microwave!"

"You don't find it intriguing!"

"No, I don't. Now, please watch Sean and Jazz while we go out."

"But-"

"Thank you, goodbye!"

SLAM!

Harry stared longingly at the now closed door. Why, WHY did this happen to HIM? He was frickin' Harry Potter! Stuff like this didn't happen to people like him!

"I bet Sirius and Remus never had to deal with this." He grumbled.

"What was that?" That annoying boy! Why couldn't he just… GO AWAY?

"Look, Jazz. When I talk to YOU I will address YOU!"

"My name is not Jazz! That's the dog!"

"Oh, you mean the black mop?"

"Gosh, Caitlin. You're acting strange today."

"I AM NOT THIS CAITLIN YOU SPEAK OF! I'M FRICKIN' HARRY BLOODY POTTER! WHO ELSE WOULD I BE?"

"Ummm… crazy?"

"You know what- …. No, no. I must conserve my anger for the person who did this to me. I WILL GET MY REVENGE!"

"Yeah, that's great and all, but uh… dinner isn't gonna make itself. Chop Chop!"

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Draco stared at the 2 beasts that stood in front of him. What the hell did they want? He had sat down to enjoy some pizza and they appeared out of nowhere looking at him with a hint of insanity as they watched him consume his meal. It was CREEPY! They watched every sodding bite that went in his mouth!

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

The bigger one licked her lips and continued staring.

"Oh, I get it. You're just gonna sit there and PRETEND you don't think I notice! And when I turn around you're gonna nab my pizza! DREAM ON, BEASTS OF ANNOYANCE!"

"Frannie, don't yell at Patches."

"Patches?"

"The dog. Let me rephrase that: YOUR dog."

"MY dog?"

"Yes, YOUR dog."

"When did I get a dog."

Blank Stares…

"What?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I?"

"You know, you did tell Heather that you would exercise horses tonight, so you have to get dressed soon."

"I don't ride BLOODY HORSES!"

"Okay, NOW I'm worried."

"What about Ciao Bello Alfredo Fretechinni?"

"Who?"

"Oh my GOD!"

HI: Sorry, but that's all we're gonna write for now. But don't worry! Now that I have this on MY computer, I can update without hassle! Ta-da!

Will + Legolas: TA-DA!

Jack: (cover head with hands) Why ME?

FH: How is having it on YOUR computer a less hassle then having it on mine? I atill have to be their.

HI : ( shrugs) I donno

Night : migraine! Migraine!

Jake : I feel u buddy.

HI&FH whack Jake&Night over their heads with pans. Large pans.

Fh : )

HI : )

FH : R&R PPL! FH&HI owt!


	4. Chapter 4

HI: Guess what! FH isn't here! Meaning I'm totally on my own with this one! YES! Uh, … I mean… Oh no! What will I do?

Legolas: Can we make cookies?

Will: YEAH! Chocolate chip and sugar cookies!

HI: Sure! After we finish the story. COOKIES FOR ALL WHO REVIEW!

Jack: Bloody girl.

HI: Pardom?

Aragorn: Don't U mean 'Pardon'?

HI: No. Anywhoozle… what do U folks want? Light meat, or dark?

Jack: What does that have to do with anything?

HI: I was just thinking of the movie Evolution. WHOEVER'S SEEN THAT MOVIE AND TELLS ME THEY LIKE IT IN A REVIEW GETS EXTRA COOKIES!

Aragorn: How are U gonna give them cookies?

HI: I will e-mail them cookies. Duh. Get with the program, Arrie.

Aragorn: Don't call me that… FRANNIE.

HI: OH! IT'S ON NOW! Legolas and Will shall do the disclaimer. COME HERE U!

Jack: Why don't I get to do it! Bloody girl…

Will: We don't own so don't hurt us. We bruise very easily…

Legolas: Yeah, and I mean the real question is HOW could U hurt us? We're just so lovable and adorable, unlike Jackie and Arrie.

Harry was not a happy Harry. His "mother" had woken him up at 7:30am to get on some godforsaken bus with some godforsaken children. The ride had NOT gone smoothly. (Now I know that Levi and Johnny ride on Vicky's bus, but hey! It's a party! Everyone's invited!) Two kids were rapping in the back of the bus nearest Harry about anything that they saw outside.

"Little old lady! Sittin' in the shady! With her grocery bag! She looks like an' ol' hag! Walking with her cane! Gonna catch the train! Really Really old bimbo! Oh my God, she heard me and hit the window!"

"That was tight! Now me! Okay, uh… oh! Big ol' tree! Don't live in the sea! Probably has dog pee! Is that Ms. Lee? I can do Tai Chi! HIYAAAA!"

Anyone can get annoyed with them, trust me. That was Harry's current mood.

"Girl with red hair! Doesn't really care! That we be rappin' bout her… hair?"

It took Harry a second to figure out they were rapping about HIM! Or, at least the body he was hosting. He turned around ready to give them a piece of his mind, when he was hit in the head by a paper airplane. The rapping continued, so did the bus driver screaming for everyone to shut up, so did the eighth grader's stupid gossiping. Harry sighed. Just as he was going to go to sleep they pulled up to a fairly large building with a sign that read: Welcome to Jackson Middle School."

Draco was not a happy Draco. He was a very sore Draco. Riding horses was a lot tougher than it looked, especially when your horse was acting like a 3 year old who needed a binky (my horse Fred really needs one! He almost took my hair off the other day!) ! To top thijgs off, his "mother" had woken him up at 8:45am to get ready for something called 'School.' They were currently in the car, his "mother" chattering about something he REALLY didn't care about. Just as he thought they would never get there his "mother" made a sharp U-turn and pulled onto the sidewalk of the school (seriously, my mom does that!). She practically pushed him out (okay, that's not true) and he grabbed his 20 pound backpack (it's really heavy! I'm aloud to complain! It's my story!) and his "saxophone", though he had no idea how to use it. He'd just think about it later. A he walked into the building he noticed a red haired girl who looked very confused. He decided to ask her for directions.

"You! Red haired girl!"

Harry started. There could only be one person who could sound soo arrogant even while inhabiting someone else's body. Draco Malfoy.

"Draco?"

"Potter?"

"Why are you here? Who sent you?"

"Me? Do you really think someone forced me to come to this place?"

" ……. Yes."

"(sigh) So naïve. Potter, Potter, Potter. When will you learn."

"Learn what?"

"Never mind! The question is: HOW THE BLOODY HELL DO WE GET OUT OF HERE?"

Just as Harry was about to answer: a bell rang. School had begun.

HI: Well, that's all for now! I have to go to basketball practice in, like, 20 minutes, but don't worry! I'm gonna try to cram in some extra updations!

Jack: Some what?

HI: Updations! Duh!

Aragorn: That's not even a word!

HI: Says U! R&R, ppl! Please and thank thee!

P.S. If anyone has some suggestions for future chapters please give me some, that would be very appreciated! As I said before: It's what U, the reader, wants! So whadda U want: Light meat, or dark?

Aragorn: STOP WITH THE EVOLUTION!


	5. Chapter 5

FH : HELLO PPL! Yes I am ACTULLY here this time! Whoopwhoop!

Rio smiles as he is the only sane person in this whole fic Hello good reviewers I m FH's second Muse.

HI : HHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

we kicked them out!Fh : Jake and night aren't here!

HI: Meaning they aren't here!

FH: That's kinda what not here means.

HI: Oh… (whisper) Will, Lego, get ready for distraction #7!

Will: Okay!

HI: 3…2…1, now!

Will+Legolas: THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD TO INSEGARD!

Jack: Will! A pirate doesn't sing nonsense Lord of the Rings songs!

Aragorn: Oh, so we're nonsense now?

Jack: Let me think about that ….. yep.

Aragorn: Listen Willy Wonka boy, if there's any movie that deserves a thousand awards, it's Lord of the Rings.

Will: Uh oh…

Jack: Please! The Carribean is sooooo much better than New Zealand!

Legolas: Uh oh…

Aragorn: Yeah, well… I'm King.

Jack: Well, I'm a captain.

Aragorn: Of what? The grass?

Jack: No, The _Pearl._

Aragorn: The Pearl?

Jack: No, The _Pearl._

Aragorn: That's what I said, the pearl!

Jack: No, The _Pearl!_ U have to italicize it!

Aragorn: Yeah, well it's just a bloody boat.

Will: Oh, dear…

Jack: What…did…U…say…?

HI: DUCK IN COVER!

FH : PREPARE FOR WORLD WAR 3!

Everybody minus Jack : AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Will : and in my dying will, I must say that HI and FH own nothing but their muses, and the oc's, which isn't a lot in this fic but whatever.

Jack : DDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

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Hogwart's ……

"- and that concludes why Pixies are very dangerous. Any questions?"

"OHHHH! PICK ME, MR. SNAPE! PICK ME!"

"Yes, Potter. And don't call me Mr."

"Are you not married?"

"Mr. Malfoy, my personal life is none of your business."

"I'm not married."

"Mr. Malfoy-"

"You called me Mr.! I'M NOT MARRIED!"

"Mr.- uh, Student Malfoy, may I answer Mr. Potter's question?"

"I'm not married either!"

"Potter!"

"Now you yelled at me!"

"Well, I am the Professor…"

"Yeah, and I'm Marilyn Monroe."

"Student Potter-"

"What?"

"Can we play with the Hagrid's dragon?"

"Student Malfoy, no, we may not play with Hagrid's dragon. …. Does he even have a dragon. I thought he got rid of Norbert a long time ago…"

"Uhhh, ……. Me no know."

"What, did your ability of speech get washed away with the rest of your brain? Oh, no. That happened a long time ago."

"Hey, don't be mean to Harry!"

"Are you defending the enemy!"

"OMFG! ARE WE PLAYING A VIDEO GAME? OH IS IT STAR WARS? I WANT TO BE THE ENEMY! ME! ME! I CAN BE DARTH VADER! SEE I'VE BEEN PRACTICING! …. Luke (wheeze) I'm your father (wheeze, cough)"

"Student Potter, are you dying?"

"No."

"Bummer. Anyway, class, today we will be making a highly dangerous potion."

"Can I help?"

"No."

"But that's not-"

"Mr. Malfoy, You are testing the last of my patience…"

"Oh, I am?"

"Yes, you are."

"I'm sorry." Hugs Snape.

" …………. Please step away from me, very… slowly…"

"Why? You smell good. Like ….. uhhhh…. Pumpernickel and herring …. with a hint of lemon …. and perhaps some nutmeg."

Harry sniffs Snape.

"No, no. I'd say it was more of an…… almond scent that nutmeg, but you are right on the lemon part. What kind of body wash do you use?"

"Mr. Potter-"

"Well, no time for that. We'll just have to douse you in caramel sauce, let you dry in lemon scented oil, and comb your hair with raisins."

"Mr. Malfoy-"

"I'm bored." Stops hugging Snape.

"Professor, can we call you Professor Snap?"

"No, Mr. Potter. You may not."

"Why?"

"Because you can't."

"Yes we can."

"Wanna bet?"

"See, Professor Snap. That wasn't so hard."

"Mr. Malfoy, can we begin today's lesson?"

"Hmmmm…. One more thing."

"What is it now?"

"CRABBE AND GOYLE!"

"What did that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know, I just felt like saying it. Oh, and this. Cedric is very handsome. And so is…. Ummm… The Scottish boy who plays Quidditch.

"Oliver?"

"Thanks Harry, yeah that's him."

Uncomfortable silence…

"I thought he was kinda annoying."

"Well, Caitlin. No one asked you."

"Why thank you, Francesca."

Another uncomfortable silence….

Everyone in room is confused.

"I'm hungry."

"Me too. Shall we?" Offers arm to Draco.

"We shall." Loops arm in Harry's and they skip off into the hall.

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

In the real world Jakeson Middle School……

Harry and Draco ( or at least their real minds, spirits, things) were wondering the now-empty halls. As they had been for the last hour. A tall slightly fat man come approaching them.

"what are you student's doing?"

Both Harry and Draco jumped as the man grabbed both of their shoulder's. now Draco didn't take this to lightly.

" Get off me you filthy muggle!"

"what did you just say to me!"

Harry deiced to step having no idea what status this man was in this giant name they call a school.

" We were…..uhhhhhhh, just on our way to class."

" where are your hall passes?"

Now Harry and Draco having lived in a magical school for almost all of their school years had NO idea what a hall pass was. Lucky for them, the annoying bell rang again. Doors flew open as students came pouring out. Harry and Draco where flooded with small 6th graders. The annoying man lost his grip and both Harry and Draco ran away.

"Just blend in!" Harry yelled top Draco. Luckily, the noise level was extremely high and so no one heard Harry but Draco because he was right next to him. Both teens bent down and walked were everybody else was going. And finally, they managed to break away.

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Hogwarts….

"I wonder when Severus's birthday is."

"No one ever send him any presents. That's so sad."

"Oh! I know! Let's make him a birthday card, and a cake, and… and presents, and a stripper-"

"Okay, going a little over board with that last comment. Remember this is Snape we're talking about here."

"Maybe just the card, cake, and presents."

"What do you think, Cho?"

"I think we should get every one to sign Snape's card and-"

"That's a great idea! Harry, let's do it right now!"

"You guys no, we have to be subtle and-"

But it was too late. Harry and Draco both stood up on their tables in the middle of the Great Hall and promptly shouted, "EVERYONE LINE UP AND SIGN SEVERUS SNAPE'S BIRTHDAY CARD, BECAUSE IT'S THE NICE THING TO DO AND WE LOVE HIM!"

"Oh, Harry! Look at Snape! He's turning a funny red color! He's like… A TOY!"

"What an interesting shade of purple, have you ever seen that on a human before?"

Uh oh!

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HI: and that's all for now!

Legolas: U mean we're still alive?

Will: Yeah, Aragorn hit Jack over the head with a frying pan, so he's passed owt on the couch. IT WAS VERY AMUSING!

R&R please!


	6. Chapter 6

HI: I'm feeling glum today.

Jack: Why is that.

HI: Well, we lost our basketball game by 1 measley point today! Then I was sick for the rest of the day! But… just so U guys won't be glum too, I'm writing! Which always makes me feel better!

Legolas: HOORAY FOR WRITING!

Will: YEAH!

Aragorn: yahoo.

Jack: whoopty doo.

Will: They're not in the spirit! I can't work this way! I'm going to my trailer!

HI: Way to go, U guys. Now Will's upset. WHO'S GONNA SING I ENJOY BEING A GIRL NOW?

Legolas: Hey, maybe we should make them sing it!

Jack: NO.

Aragorn: Absolutely not.

HI: We'll see…

"Dear Snape, We think you are an awesome teacher and that you smell like nutmeg, herring, almonds, umm… oh yeah! And pumpernickel with lemons. Sincerely, Cho, Draco, and Harry. There! It's done!"

"Now all we have to do is deliver his cake, presents, and card without being noticed."

"It was a bit strange that no one else signed his card but us, though. Oh well, their loss. This means we get more cake!"

"And we all know that's the best part of the party!"

"I'm bored now."

"Me too."

"Me four."

"Draco, three comes after two."

"Oh… WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? WHY WASN'T I INFORMED?"

"Speaking of purple, did it ever occur to you that we could be stuck like this forever? I mean in these bodies?"

"Hmmmm…. Now that you mention purple, I could use a grape popsicle…"

"Draco, focus! We have a crisis here!"

"(gasp) OH NO! IS TIMMY STUCK IN THE WELL?"

"No. That's Lassie's job. We have a bigger problem. We could be stuck here… FOREVER."

"So?"

"As in not seeing our families ever again?"

" ……. Your point?"

"You guys just don't get it, do you? God, you can be so retarted sometimes!"

"Yeah, well… YOUR MOM!"

"Oh, good one Drakey! BURN CHO BURN!"

"'Your mom' jokes aren't funny or clever."

"…….. She brings the mood down for everything."

"Funsucker!"

"Anyway, if we're gonna be here for a while, we HAVE to blend in. That means no breaking into song and dance, consuming mass quantities of food, hugging people who you don't know, or getting emotional (looks at Draco). No biting, scratching, screaming, computer references, T.V. references or anything else that refers to electronical devices, and NO suddenly having the urge to do hectic things (looks at Harry). Understand?

" ……. Okay."

"I guess."

"Good. Now, Harry, you go hang out with Ron and Hermione and pretend to despise Draco, love wonderful me, and be your smart self. Draco-"

"Harry, …. You- you don't like me? (whimper)"

"Uh…… A little help, Cho. You did get me into this mess!"

"It's not that he doesn't-"

But once again it was too late.

"(sob) HARRY POTTER DOESN'T LIKE ME!"

"Sit down!"

"NO! I don't like you at the moment!"

"You must remember that I'm actually not Harry Potter, I'm acting."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Did you hear something, Cho?"

"HI, this is no time to be stubborn! Go hang out with your group of ….. idiots, I'm sure you will get along just fine with them."

"Fine, I will."

"Oh! I'm pretending to hate you and get in trouble, and she calls you an idiot and she doesn't! That's messed up!"

Draco stormed off to his 'friends' Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy. Harry went to go sit with Ron and Herminoe, and Cho went to go hang with whoever she hangs with.

Pansy immediately latched herself on Draco and started to snuggle. One thing: HI hates snuggling with people she doesn't know.

"Ummm…. What are you doing?"

"I'm being affectionate to my Drakey Wakey."

" …….. Please stop."

"Why?"

"You're beginning to bug me."

"What?"

"Okay look, you're …… an interesting person and all, but I'm afraid I already like someone."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, his name's Orlando Bloom. Might have heard of him. You know, Pirates of the Carribean, Lord of the Rings, Elizabethtown."

"Wha?"

"Then of course there's Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, and Viggo Mortenson. Oh! And Johnny Depp. Ha, Johnny. The humor you brought me."

"…… Draco, are you alright?"

"Then there's Hugo Weaving, Sean Astin….."

"You mean you have multiple relationships?"

"Heck no! I have way more than multiple relationships!"

Pansy runs off crying. Haha.

Meanwhile Harry's posse…

"Why were you hanging out with the Ferret?"

"Why are you so grungy looking, Ron?"

"Harry! That's not a nice thing to say to Ron!"

"And why are you so brainy, Hermione?"

"Harry! What's with you?"

"I mean, I can understand someone being smart, maybe even VERY smart, but BRAINY? Never! And I've seen unattractive people before, but never GRUNGY people! You 2 should consider lowering your standards, or in Ron's case giving them a boost."

HI: That's all for now! Expect more soon! Oh! And as an added bonus: I now give U the Dancing singing Captain Jack Sparrow and Aragorn!

Jack: I don't want to do this.

HI: That's too bad.

Aragorn: Just get it over with. (sigh) I'm a girl and by me that's only great. I enjoy that my blah blah blah is curly. That I run with a blah blah girlish gait. Like a filly who is ready for the race.

Jack: When I have a brand new hairdo, with my eyelashes all in curl, I float on the clouds on air do-

Jack + Aragorn: I enjoy being a …… (sigh grimace) girl.

HI: See that wasn't so hard.

Jack: Shut up.

Will: Don't you feel better now that U got that off your chest?

Aragorn: COME HERE U LITTLE PIRATE WHELP!

Will: LEGOLAS! HELP ME!

Legolas: I'll get the hose!

HI: R&R, pls!


	7. Chapter 7

HI: Hmmmmmm what to do… what to do…

Jack: We could go get my ship and-

HI: NO! Let's do something we'll ALL enjoy…

Aragorn: Killing things?

HI: No.

Aragorn: Movie?

HI: Uh- uh.

Legolas: Bother Erestor?

HI: Hmmm… I'll take it into consideration…

Will: Why don't we do what we were going to do in the first place.

HI: Which was…?

Will: Write a Chapter for Voldemort, I switched the kid's bodies? Which, she is considering changing the name on.

HI: Indeed. I am...

Will: So, what'd U say?

HI: Hmmm… write another chapter for Voldemort I Switched the Kids… that's so crazy… (important spy look) that it just might work! To the computer!

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"Draco come back!"

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME, INSANE GIRL!"

"Draco!"

"I SAID GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Let me kiss your pain away!"

"AHHHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! NO MORE! NO MORE!"

Things weren't looking too bright for HI. Pansy had gotten over the earlier comment about Orlando Bloom, Elijah Wood, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Johnny Depp, Viggo Mortensen, Hugo Weaving, and Sean Astin.She had followed him into Potions, then attached herself to him at lunch, and even followed him into the bathroom. Now, HI didn't want to be rude, but when you're being tailgated by some girl with a fashion sense that could match a monkey's, it kinda freaked you out, you know? Not that she was complaining. ……. Okay, she was complaining a little. ……. Okay, a lot.

"BUT I LOVE YOU!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Come down from there, silly!"

"No!"

"Draco-"

"No!"

"But I-"

"No!"

"You're not even liste-"

"No!"

"Fine, I'll make you come down."

Pansy grabbed the side of the potion's shelf and pushed. Draco scrambled to the next one just as the other one fell, various puffs of smoke and goop spilling from the broken potions.

"You can't stay up there forever!"

"Yes I can!"

"We'll see…"

She grabbed the side of the current item of protection and pushed again. Draco, again, jumped to the next shelf. Boy, was Snape gonna be mad…

Meanwhile Harry was discussing Zoids with a very confuzzled (yep, it's my word for confused) Hermione and Ron.

"See, then there's Ligars and-"

"Harry, as much as we would _love_ to sit here and talk about mechanical animals piloted by odd people, we have to get to Care of Magical Creatures."

As mentioned before, FH and HI absolutely worship the ground Horses walk on, so, on Ron's part, that was the very last thing to say to Harry.

"(excited gasp) ARE WE GONNA SEE BUCKBEAK AND UNICORNS AND PEGASAUS AND TROLLS AND UNICORNS AND TROLLS AND SNAILS AND BUCKBEAK AND BUCKBEAK AND TROLLS?"

Hermione started.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever you want."

"YEAH! OMFG! I HAVE TO TELL HI! HI! WE'RE GONNA SEE CREATURES!"

No answer…

"HI? HI? Where are you? Heeeeeeeeeeeeello? EARTH TO HI! It's Alpha Pinto! Alpha Pinto to Major Friesian! Alpha Pinto to Major Friesian! Do you copy! Major Friesian?"

Harry looked like he was going to cry.

"Where's Major Friesian?"

"Who _is _Major Friesian?"

Harry screamed.

"HI, YOU DIM- WITTED MONKEY!"

Hermione stepped in.

"Uh, don't worry, Harry. We'll help you find your …… HI?"

Harry was sobbing.

"HI! WHY HAVE YOU LEFT ME? WHY HAVE YOU DECEIVED ME?"

"Umm, okay…"

10 minutes later…

Cho was sitting with her friends when a frantic Harry almost ran into her.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

Cho wasn't happy. Can you tell? Her "friends" talked about stuff she really could care less about, and as a result, she was short tempered, and moody. Well, that's kinda redundant… whatever!

"OMFG, CHO! I CAN'T FIND DRACO! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO! WHAT IF WE NEVER FIND HIM, WHAT IF HE GETS EATEN BY MAN EATING BLONDE COWS! OMFG, THAT CAN'T HAPPEN! WHAT WILL WE DO! WHAT. WILL. WE. DO! Oh my god! Oh my god! (sobbing) OHH, GOD! WHY CAN'T I FIND HIM? WHAT'S HAPPEN TO MY FRIEND! OHH, GOD WHAT AM I GONNA DO, CHO! WHAT IF HE NEVER COMES BACK! I MISS HIS QUIRKY ANTICS, AND RANDOMNESS AND THAT FUNNY WAY HE COCKS HIS HEAD TO THE SIDE LIKE A CONFUZZLED PUPPY WHEN WE SAY SOMETHING HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND! WILL I EVER SEE THAT PUPPY HEAD COCKING AGAIN! OHH, GOD!"

Blank Stares…

Harry got angry.

"WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE AND GAWK! GET YOUR FANNIES IN GEAR, PEOPLE! FIND MY PUPPY!"

Blank Stares…

"FINE, I'LL CALL ASPCA! MY POOOOOOOOOOOR PUPPY!"

Will they ever find Draco! Find owt next time on Voldie I switched the Kid's Bods!

I'm back! Aren't U ECSTATIC! (crickets) ………. Anyone? Hello? Fine I'll just write!

Disclaimer: Don't own.

"DRAAAAACO! MAJOR FRIIIIIIESIAN! HIIIIIIIIIII!"

"Why would you want to even find the Ferret?" Ron grumbled, feeling slightly replaced.

Harry and Cho whirled on poor, unsuspecting Ron.

"Are you suggesting we DON'T find HI?" Cho growled dangerously.

"Because if you were," Harry snarled, "We would be having some problems with each other's company, now wouldn't we, Ronald?"

Ron shut up more out of fear than retaliation. The search continued.

After a while Hermione decided to be the disturber of the peace.

"Harry, Cho, we've been searching for 4 hours for …… HIM. We're hungry, tired, and irritable. Why don't we just look tomorrow?"

Harry turned around slowly, too slowly.

"Are you suggesting we STOP looking?"

Cho picked up on what he was saying.

"That we leave poor, naïve, dumb HI out there alone without our assistance?"

"Do you know what happened last time we left HI alone?"

"No," Hermione meekly replied.

"You know the bombing of Pearl Harbor? That's what happened last time we left HI alone."

"So basically you're saying you want your School to be burned, disintegrated, or toppled down?"

"No."

"Good, then we'll keep searching."

So, they kept searching.

Meanwhile…

"Finally! I've got you!" Pansy shouted giving HI a death grip hug around the waist.

"Can't ……. breath ……. let … go!"

"Let's go sit somewhere romantic, shall we?"

"No! NOOOO!"

Pansy skipped off with poor Draco in tow.

10 MINUTES LATER...

Harry, Cho, Hermione, and Ron came into the room Draco and Pansy had just been in.

"My gosh! Who made this mess?" Hermione exclaimed.

Ron decided to anticipate instead.

"We better get out of here before Snape comes in here and blames this mess on us."

Harry and Cho didn't move, however. Harry picked up something from the ground, sniffed it, and licked it. He rolled the taste around in his mouth.

"……. HI has been here." He decided after a moment of testing the taste.

Cho took the whatever it was, sniffed, and licked it, too.

"Definitely HI." She agreed.

Hermione and Ron looked a little queasy.

"What- what exactly is that?"

Harry didn't even look up from the floor.

"A hair." He responded nonchalantly.

Ron gagged.

"How- how can you tell?" Hermione asked cautiously.

Cho didn't look up.

"Head and Shoulders shampoo." She answered calmly.

Harry put his head to the ground, signaling everyone to be quiet. Cho put her finger in her mouth and tested it in the air.

After a moment's hesitation, they both replied in freaky unison.

"He went that way." And as one they went in THAT direction.

Hermione and Ron followed out of fascinated fear.

I'm sooooo crazy! Hoped U liked it!

Hello all! Since Hoofin'It is currently in Washington DC, I will be taking over! Muhahaha-uh, I mean, yeah!

Jake : thats not good!

Night : Definitely not good!

Legolas : ...WERE ALL GONNA DIE!

Will : I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE!

Will & Legolas both begin to cry histericly.

FH : Im not that bad! (Smirks evilly)

Night : I KNOW THAT SMIRK!

Aragorn : NOOOOOOOOO!

FH : ...ok then. While the weirdo's above will be ranting like the idiots that they are, my new muse Saber will be doing the disclaimer!

Saber : uh-hem. Roooar! Grrr! ROAaoR!

FH : translation : FH owns nothing. But be prepared for the chaos thats in store. That is all.

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"Victoria! Your kick is off!" Cho growled. How in the word could anyone's kick be off! Its just not possible! Stupid martial arts teacher! Unfortuently for poor Cho, the person who's body she was currently stuck in took martial arts lessons. Cho, had never kicked or punched at anything in her life. Sure she had slapped the occasional boy, but she hadn't done that since the incident with Harry. The stupid idiot bas-" Focus!" yelled the martial arts teacher as he punched Cho in the stomach. " im focusing!" Yelled a extremely mad Cho." don't yell at your sensai!"

754785878787548795879with Harry9754765467546703457654765467547645675470546054

now Harry was having a nice quite evening trying to google "body swapping". The Dursleys had never allowed him on their computer, Dudly's computer, or Dudly's laptop. He had by know, figured out that the person who's body he had inhabited name was Caity, and that he was in America. (America the beautiful begins to play in the back round) "what the-" Harry spun in the swively computer chair to stare at his "brother" who had found a recorder. " stop it!" Harry ordered. Trigun, (the name of Harry's new brother) stopped. Harry grinned. He was not used to getting his way with the younger kid and normally had to resort to other "methods" to get what he wanted out of the little kid. Unfortunately for him, Trigun loves nothing more to annoy people to death. Harry glared at the kid as he took a deep breath. " why are you still here-" "SSSSSSSSQUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKK!"

Harry screamed as the wretched squealing filled the air.

7745705478903156923457912348123605with the real Draco846-2345434371241561456915

Draco looked at the creature before him. It was a massive monster, with large eyes, and even bigger teeth. It snorted and stamped one of it's hooves as Draco looked back at his "instructor". "You expect me to get on THAT? It could kill me!" the instructor looked at what she thought was her student worriedly. Franky had never, ever refused to ride a horse. Especially not Fred. This worried her to no end, and had no idea what "Franky was going to do when on said horse. The poor instructor could only come to one conclusion that made since, and spoke it out loud. " Franchesca, you didn't happen to get amnesia over the weekend , did you?"

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"Harry," Ron whined. " we missed dinner! Can we please stop now? After all, the ferrets probubly just in a closet somewhere kissing his girlfriend of the week-" Both FH and Vikky turned around to face him. Flames apparent in both teenagers eyes. " What. Did. You. Just. Say?" both said freakishly at the same time in a deadly tone. Ron gulped and backed up until he was well behind a confused Hermione. " I-I really I was just ...Joking. R-really." Luckily for Ron, FH was rather laid back in life and wouldn't snap at you unless you managed to provoke her Irish temper to come out. Then even the cars run for bomb shelters. Er, well, drive if were going to get technical. Anywhoozle, ( my word for anyhow) FH just shrugged the comment off and continued to search for HI. Vikky on the other hand, well, lets just say it wasn't the brightest idea to enroll her in martial arts. She advanced on Ron growling like some sort of rabid-fangirl who had spotted her idol and was on the attack. ( **THIS SECTION OF THIS FANFIC HAS BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE OF RON GETTING THE SNOT BEAT OUT OF HIM AND MASSIVE GERMAN SWEARWORDS**. (We blame Vikky's grandmother))

20 minutes, 5 seconds, and a beat up Ron later :

"HIIIIIIIIIIII!HHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIII! WERE ART THOU?" FH yelled down the empty hallway.

Vikky, Ron , and Hermione all glared. " FH! Speaking in old English was funny the first 40 times. Now it's just annoying!" Ron and Hermione both turned to stare at "Cho". " You mean he's done this before?" Ron asked horrified at the same time Hermione asked " FH?" " Yes." stated Vikky, who was a little more than annoyed. Fh intervened before something got blown up. " I'm FH. She's Vikky. Were looking for HI. We went over this." Ron and Hermione just stared. Stared long and hard. So long that-( Night : ENOUGH! THEY GOT IT! FH : well geez, you don't have to be snappy about it! )

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HI panted. She had FINALLY lost the little perverted creepy girl, as she had come to know Pansy. Pansy's desperate shouts echoed through the hall making HI freeze. She jumped behind a large statue as Pansy came running down the halls.

" Draco?" Draco were are you!"

HI gulped as Pansy slowed down to a walk. She was barley breathing by the time that Pansy past was passing statue. Now of course, as usually when a hero is hiding and a villain passes by, HI felt a sneeze coming on. But of course , this is a humor story, and nothing is done the way it should. HI covered her nose, stepped back, and somehow fell foreword into the statue. It fell over with a loud "THUD! CRASH!" Pansy whirled around, as HI stood up. " Draco their you are!" HI sneezed. Then she jumped , holding up the sign against evil. She backed up a few steps, then turned around and ran as fast as she could. " GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" she screamed really, really loudly, then an" CRASH! BANG!" was heard fallowed by a " I knew that wall was their! I was just testing you!" She may have been fast, but she was about as coordinated as a duck.

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FH : and so come the end! And we got nowhere! YAY!

" LET US DOWN! PLEEAASSEEE!" Aragorn , Night, Jake, Jack, and Will were all in a giant cage hanging above a small island that held four vicious looking three headed dogs. The small island was in a giant pool of lava.

FH : I love my job:)

Aragorn : " AAAAAAAHHH! One of them bite me!"

Legolas : " Who's the girly man know! Huh? Huh?"

Jack : " how come HE wasn't put in here?"

Legolas : " I'm the prince of Mirkwood. I DON'T get put into those disgusting cages."

FH (holds up a wad of cash)

Everyone : "..."

Night : " Damn you and your money!"

Saber : "grr , grr, grr!"

Night : don't " tut, tut, tut, ME!"

FH : the one good thing about me updating, LONGER CHAPTERS! Well ppl , u know the drill R&R!


	8. Chapter 8

Ahem, I'M BAAAAACK! For those of U who witnessed, ahem, last time's chapter, I would like to point owt that it was FH, not I, that wrote it. I was innocently visiting Washington, D.C., and had NO clue whatsoever what she was doing. ……. (grumble) Call ME a duck, will ya….

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"-and then we can be romantic under a tree, and then we can be romantic in front of Hermione, and then-"

_My life is crap right now_.

"-right after we feed each other strawberries, under the stars with nothing but moonlight to guide us."

_Yippee. I'm overflowing with joy_!

"And then-"

As you all can see and tell, Pansy wouldn't STFU about having "Draco". Poor HI. Life was not on her side right now. It had taken a step back, like a wise …… metaphor… whatever, and immediately backed down when cold, cruel, unforgiving fate reared it's ugly head. (sigh)

_Maybe if I call FH and Vicky…_

So, mustering as much courage as she could, HI attempted the "CAll".

"HERE'S A LLAMA, THERE'S A LLAMA, AND ANOTHER LITTLE LLAMA! FUZZY LLAMA, FUNNY LLAMA! LLAMA, LLAMA, DUCK! I WAS ONCE A TREEHOUSE, I LIVED IN A CAKE! BUT I NEVER SAW THE WAY THE ORANGE SLAYED THE RAKE! I WAS ONLY THREE YEARS DEAD! BUT I TOLD A TALE! NOW YOU LISTEN, LITTLE CHILD! TO THE SAFETY RAIL! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A LLAMA, KISSED A LLAMA, HUGGED A LLAMA, ALARM A LLAMA, TASTE OF LLAMA! LLAMA, LLAMA, DUCK!"

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Harry and Cho looked up.

"The …… Llama Song?"

Cho nodded.

"But ….. only one other person knows ….. The Llama Song ….."

Cho nodded again. Both looked at each other with stupid grins.

"HI!"

Yeah, I'm mean, it's short. But, think of it as me rationing it. Saving the tender morsels of comedy for the finale. Hahahahahaha. So evil……

BYE, Y'ALL!

FH : I have 2 rather insane authoretts and ALL of their muses ( glares at Cerberus , Pixel , Chip, and a newly introduced Trixi , who are causing chaos)

A.C.M.V :Hey I'm here today, to help these two imbeciles with their story, plus we're gonna add more Draco in the story.

HI : OW!

ACMV: I MEANT MORE CHO! And HI better be her wonderful a-

HI: OWWW!

ACMV: I'm gonna write for myself if U don't quit it! Anyway, More CHO in the story..

FH : if ur wondering , HI is writing for ACMV, because ...i don't know why. NIGHT! WILL! JACK! SOMEBODY DO THE DISCLAIMER!

Trixi: we do not own

Jack : NO!

Pixel: What?

Jack: sigh How many times must I tell U people that we say "we do not own" in a MANLY fashion. Right Aragorn?

Aragorn: ZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Jack: ARAGORN!

Aragorn: ZZZ- What! Huh? I'm up I'm awake! What? Yeah, whatever Jack said!

Chip: Why oh why must we like pie...

Everyone: O.o...

Chip: What? We like pie!

Trixi: In other news...

Cerberus: ROAAAR!

Chip + Pixel: U AGAIN!

FH :yes, tenchinkly, he's my seventh muse and therefore has title to be in this fic.

HI : ...remember what happened LAST time they got together!

FH :...CRAP! RIORAND GET THAT DIMENSION WE THREW NIGHT IN!

HI: Sooo, to actually get somewhere today... We don't own. Arrr. Satisfied, Jack?

Jack: I guess.

"LLAMA, LLAMA, CHEESECAKE, LLAMA, DUCK! THIS IS HOW-"

Pansy sighed. For 10 FULL minutes, Draco had been singing that god awful song. She didn't find it very romantic.

"Draco, dear, ummmm... why don't we go to-"

"NOW MY SONG IS GETTING THIN! I'VE RUN OUT OF LUCK! TIME FOR ME-"

Poor, naive Pansy...

"DRACO! KNOCK IT OFF!"

Suddenly, in the background...

"MAJOR FRIESIAN! WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOOOOOOOOU!"

What the heck...?

"HI, STAY WHERE YOU ARE!"

Because of her mental stability, of course, HI moved.

"DRACO! WHY ARE YOUR FRIENDS HERE?"

Harry swung in on one of the many hanging tapestries hanging on the walls. Yowling like Tarzan, he did a double somersault in the air, cartwheeled in mid air, hit the ground, tripped, and landed face flat on the carpet. Cho decided to use the more sensible approach and walked calmly down the corridor. Cho spoke to Pansy.

"Hi, ... Pansy? Right? Anywho, umm, can we have our blonde boy back?"

"Hmmm, let me think about that... NO!"

Cho sighed.

"I really didn't want to do this."

So, Cho whipped Pansy's sorry... hinny, and rescued Draco. The End. NOT! REWIND!

Cho sighed.

"I really didn't want to do this."

So, Cho whipped Pansy's sorry ... hinny. And Pansy fought back. Harry and Draco sat down watching, yelling out bets and latest moves, like a wrestling match.

"OH! And Cho pulls a flying kick to Pansy!"

"Oh, but look at that, Harry! Pansy recovers and lands a round house punch!"

Blah, blah battle, battle.

10 minutes later...

Cho and Pansy are panting for breath. They glared at each other. Draco and Harry sat. Glare. Sit. Glare. Sit. Glare. Sit... Finally, Harry spoke.

"This isn't fun anymore. Let's do something else."

"Yeah, okay."

Harry and Draco made a move to leave, but Pansy and Cho stopped them.

"YOU TWO AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! SIT! STAY!"

So they did.

Cho growled.

"Listen, Flower Girl. We're taking the blonde whether you like it or not! Kapeesh? Or do I have to go Jackie Chan all over your ass?"

Pansy thought. ... And thought. ... and, just for good measure, she thought some more. So, Cho decided to "help" her speed up her thinking. She gave her a punch sooooo hard it knocked her off her feet. Pansy started to cry.

"Draco! Look what she did to me! Aren't you going to do something?"

Draco picked his teeth. Pansy left crying her ugly- uh, I mean "starry" eyes out. Cho cracked her neck from side to side, then her knuckles, and snorted.

"Amateur."

Draco and Harry clapped.

"HOORAY FOR CHO!"

"Shut up. Let's go get some lunch."

$&( (&(((&(&(&(&&&(&(&(&(&(&( &

WITH THE REAL HARRY

Harry growled. How dare the computer freeze on him. Er, her. It was like the stupid thing didn't like him. He growled again, flopping on "his" bed. **BANG! **Harry fell of the bed startled as a tall black haired boy with... dragon wings? Popped up. He turned to look at Harry, his red eyes bored looking.

" Make me a milkshake."

Harry stared at him, completely in shock. Who was this kid? And why did he just pop out of nowhere?

" I'm waiting." stated dragon wings, tapping his foot.

" w-who, WHAT are you?" yelped Harry, using the edge of a desk im stand up. Dragon wings looked at him weirdly.

" FH, what the heck has gotten into you? Get me my shake!"

Before poor Harry could give his confused answer, Another boy popped out of now where. This one had cat ears.

" Night, that's not FH."

Dragon wings glared at Cat ears.

" If that's not FH then who is it?"

Cat ears sighed. " Night, that's Harry. FH switched bodies with him. If you had payed attention, you would have known this."

Dragon wings huffed and crossed his arms. Cat eras turned to poor Harry , who was trying to sneak his way toward the door.

" Hello Harry. I'm Riorand, please call me Rio. I am FH's , the girl who's body you inhabit, second muse. And this is Nightmare, Night, FH's first muse." Cat ears-Rio pointed to Dragon wings-Night. Harry had never fainted in his life...but I guess theirs a first time for everything.

FH : WE sorry that it's so short, someone ( glares At HI) deleted half the fic, and I had to go rewrite it.

Rio : as usually, R&R.

FH : HOLD IT! Before you press the shiny purple button , feel free to send us your ideas. Thank you, and have a destructive day. : )

Rio : O.o


End file.
